MARTHA MAE JOHNSON

 Psalm 44:26   Rise up and help us; Redeem us because of your unfailing love.

 

 

Martha Mae is a true Southern Lady who goes by both Christian names because that is the proper thing to do for ladies of her standing in the South.  She lives on the family plantation that generations of her family have owned in North Louisiana.  Martha Mae has always loved animals and since her papa died and left the estate to her, owns an obedience school for wayward, rebellious animals named “The Martha Mae Redemptive Clinic and Spa for Rebellious Animals”.  Since early childhood, Martha Mae felt a kinship with unruly creatures.  Rumor has it that Martha Mae was quite the “wild one” herself during adolescence.  There was something exciting about the way the animals bullied others and yet she sensed a deep desire, on their part, to be controlled.  She felt she could identify with their rebelliousness. 

 Martha Mae’s Redemptive Clinic and Spa for Rebellious Animals has been in existence for ten years.  Clients from all over the South send their little darlings to Martha Mae.  She has a unique way of communicating with them, unlike anything you have ever witnessed.  For instance, when communicating with birds she flaps her arms and walks with her knees touching, making sounds unlike any bird we know, but it doesn’t bother her.  When getting the attention of a dog she has been known to move about on all fours and sniff inappropriate places. You can imagine how she communicates with pigs.  Some people consider her behavior a bit eccentric, to put it mildly.  Others think she has completely lost her mind and needs to be institutionalized.  It doesn’t bother Martha Mae.  She knows her gift from God is genuine and no one I know can argue with a genuine God given talent.   Bless her heart, she has become a guru to the rich and famous who flock to those who seem a little bit too far left of center. 

With all this publicity she has begun to write books.  Recently Martha Mae completed her third book titled “Raising Christian Animals.  How to be assured your pet will go to Heaven.”  Her first publication was “Baby Signs for Cats” dealing with the vast vocabulary infant kittens learn to recognize and respond to as they communicate with humans.  Its success brought on her second book titled “Warning Signs” which dealt with the subject of pets on drugs.  Martha Mae explored in detail how to recognize the many warning signals animals give when doing drugs.  It sold very well among celebrities causing it to be number one for ten weeks on the bestseller list.  She is currently working on a new book that will deal with recognizing the artistic creativity in chickens.

Martha Mae is currently touring the country promoting her expertise as an Animal Behaviorist.  Recently she was on Jimmy Kimmel and just last week visited Jenna’s Book Club.  She once appeared on America’s Got Talent, where she was to interpret the body language of caged lions but then the audience decided she herself should be caged. 

You may purchase her books at $29.95 each from her website: marthamaewild.com or in Christian bookstores located only in malls.

 

© Nippy Blair 2015. Posts and pictures on this blog cannot be copied, downloaded, printed, or used without the permission of the blog owner, Nippy Blair.