BEAU

HOW BEAU GOT HIS NEW BRITCHES

He was just a good ole' boy livin' down in the swamp. Fair skinned, deep set brown eyes, the darkest tan and the blackest hair...so black and shiny you could see your own reflection in it ifn' you looked hard enough. That was Beau. Montgomery Beauregard Bordeleon Jones. But everyone called him Beau. Never saw Beau dressed up. Always wore those same ole' bib overalls his older brother handed down when he got too big for 'em. Had a big patch on the left knee 'cause Beau was always getting' into some kind of trouble. Didn't matter much 'bout that patch, tho, 'cause no one ever came in these parts of the swamp to care how you dressed anyhow. 

 Beau didn't have any shoes, neither, but that didn't matter 'cause no one did 'ceptin' maybe our maws and paws and besides ifn' he did have some there'd be no place to wear 'em. They'd just get in the way havin' to take them off every time we decided to shinny up one of them live oaks.

 I never had any other playmates growin' up 'ceptin' my dumb ole' sisters, Mary, Alice and Betsy or Beau's older brother, Leon, who was always busy 'courtin' Mary or Alice or helpin' his paw trap nutria to care 'bout playin' with me. So I reckon it was just as good that Beau and I were friends. Good friends full of fun.

 Being so full of fun sometimes got us into trouble. Like the time Beau found them alligator eggs over by the ole' “Struck” tree. We called it that 'cause this particular live oak seemed to always be attractin' lightin'. “There's no tellin' how many times that ole' trees' been struck,” said Paw. “ It's been struck 12 times since we been livin' here and there's no tellin' how many times it was struck before.” 

  Beau was just out trappin' when he happened upon them eggs. Couldn't wait to find me. “John's out fishin' with his Paw on further back in the swamp,” my maw told him. “Won't be back till late,” she said. Well, that didn't set well with Beau. Didn't set well a'tall. “Can't wait till later,” he said as he hurried off. “Don't matter ifn' I am alone,” he shouted over his shoulder as he ran home to gather his knife and other weapons he thought he might need. “Besides, I ain't 'fraid of no mean ole' mama gator,” he said to himself.

When I got home, Maw told me Beau was just lookin' for me and was all excited, I hurried to find him 'cause I knew good times was just around the corner. Caught him over by “struck” tree, but Beau was too busy concentratin' to even know I was around.

I thought I'd have some fun of my own with ole' Beau, so I started sneakin' up on him. I climbed in the tree thinkin' 'bout pouncin' on him when it happened. That ole' mama gator was bellowing and rushin' straight for Beau. I clung to that tree tighter than a tick on a hound dog ready to help Beau ifn' he needed me. Good thing I was there to look out after him or you never would have known anythin' 'bout my ole' buddy Beau. Don't reckon they would have ever found his body. You see, Beau was just' reachin' that last egg when the ole' gal rushed up on him a bellowin' so loud that Beau just' froze to the spot, and then “WHUMP!” Why mud and sweat was all over Beau's body as he rushed out of that water. That ole' mother just kept on comin' after Beau and by the time he was through dancin' with that ole' mama gator he was fit to be tied. She was down upon him and they proceeded to tango. First they rolled left two or three times, then back to the right, then back to the left again. Beau was doin' pretty good holdin' that ole' mama gators mouth shut and dancin' all over when he spied me clingin' to the tree ready to help. That upset Beau so much that he let go and started hollerin' 'bout me or somethin'. Couldn't understand what he was sayin' but he was probably sayin' how glad he was to see me. Just as I was 'bout to help him that ole' mama just slapped him plumb up side a cypress tree with her tail. Lands, you never saw such a pitiful sight in all your born days after that mama gator flung him clean up to heaven. Shook things so hard, I thought ole' “struck” had been struck again and me in it. Nearly fell out of that ole' tree. But Beau was tough and wanted them eggs bad and besides he wasn't 'bout to give up now. So he proceeded to shoutin' somethin' 'bout me again, but I was too busy clingin' to that shakin' tree tryin' to keep my balance that I didn't listen too well.

Beau, lookin' pretty mad spotted the knife I dropped, grabbed it and leaped upon that ole' gator and begun thrustin' his knife in her belly...weren't long 'fore she was lyin' still...and so was Beau. Scared me to death, it did. Beau just kept lyin' there and lyin' there with mud and sweat and blood all over his body. I shouted his name over and over as I climbed down the tree. “Beau, Beau. Can I hep ya? Beau, can you hear me?” But Beau didn't move a muscle. So I took a stick and poked him one under his left arm to roll him over. Beau rolled over so fast shoutin' at me that I thought for sure that ole' mama gator had flung me clean up to heaven too. I started a hollerin', “Help. Help. Hallaujah! I'm coming to Jesus.” Beau just doubled over with laughter. Said it served me right. That rascal weren't hurt, 'ceptin' a few scratches. After drying the tears away from our eyes from laughin', I gave Beau a good look. “Land them overall,” I shouted. “Beau, your mama's 'gonna have a heap of sewin' to do tonight,” I said. “Or else your brother's gonna outgrow his britches again mighty fast.” After we finished laughin some more, Beau discovered that all those alligator eggs had been rolled over while all that wrestlin' was goin' on. Not a single one of them was good for nothin'.

After the shock of losin' them eggs, we both just sat down and laughed some more. Took us the better part of the afternoon, time we skinned that gator and cut up the meat we intended to take home. Both of us had to turn her over so Beau could cut the belly skin down each side to the back legs. Beau said we had to be careful not to mess up that skin any worse then all those knife slashes already done. Just the same, he let me rip around the legs and slice it down to the tail. Said he sure hoped we could get a fair price for it. Beau was real careful to cut a steak or two from the tail for his mama. The rest was thrown back into the swamp for the other gators or the buzzards that were waitin' for us to finish. 

Beau sure was countin' on that meat to help soothe his mama's anger. But it didn't. I let Beau walk in by himself so as not to take all the credit for savin' Beau myself, or disturb his mama no more.

Beau's mama just took one look at that boy and them overalls and headed him out behind the outhouse and proceeded to thrash him good with a willow branch that he had to get for her. Said she didn't want to wait for his paw to come home...and then she marched him back to the house holdin' his right ear very tight and made him put one of her dresses on while she tried to find enough patches to patch, never givin' him a a chance to tell how I saved his life.

The next mornin' Beau got to tell the whole story, since his paw and older brother had come home. Beau sure was grateful to finally get it off his chest. He proceeded to tell his version of the whole story in great detail. Spent the rest of the mornin' re-livin' that experience and all the while his paw just rolled with laughter. Weren't too long before Beau's maw and the rest of the family were laughin' too. Partly because of the ridiculous way Beau looked in that dress as he told the story. I was pretty mad that he left out the part of me savin' him.

I didn't see Beau again for two or three days but his brother, Leon, told me that Beau was alright. “Jus' won't come outside in maw's dress. Don't blame him none, being as how he looks so sissy,” he said.

And that's how come Beau got him a new pair of britches. Beau said it didn't matter ifn' they were out of his sister's ole' flowery dress 'cause nobody would see him 'ceptin' us and the swamp critters. “Besides,” he said, “I just' might be able to track and trap them critters better ifn' they think I'm just a bunch of flowers.” But I could tell Beau thought them new britches stunk.

Beau's maw said she was 'gonna save what's left of them ole' britches and put them in a quilt so she can be reminded of that ole' mama gator that almost flung her baby to heaven.

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