BEAU

chapter 5

Old Struck

The end of our adventure.

         Me and Beau didn't see each other for a while after that 'cause our mamas said they needed a break from the shenanigans we had caused.  When I did see him again, Beau was wearing his brand-new, store-bought overalls.  His paw had sold some good deer pelts for less than what they were worth so Beau could have some britches.  His Maw gave him what fer over all the trouble he had caused and warned him that them overalls had best last all his born days until he became an adult and maybe a long time after that. 

          It felt good bein' friends again, full of fun.  One day we decided to head over to the clearin' by “old struck” and just hang about.  Paw said it was good for us because we could learn to be better swampers.  “If'n you'd just go somewheres in the swamp and stand still for a while, you might get to know them critters and their habits. It'll help you trap better,” he said.  “They gonna' stay hidden long as you boys keep makin' all that racket.”  Beau said he already knew them critters and he weren't 'bout to go stand still in that old swamp waitin' for them critters to show their face, ‘cause the skeeters and chiggers would eat us alive.  “Besides,” said Beau, “some old bobcat might sneak up on us and have us for dinner.”  I said we should climb up on old struck to watch for the critters, but Beau said he would get sleepy and fall off the limb and the old buzzards would come and invite all their friends to a buzzard party over our dead bodies. Said they'd eat mine first since I was sweeter.  I said, “Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute,” and hit him up-side the head.   We wrestled for a while before sittin' on the ground, back-to-back.  “Ain't nothin' sneakin' up on us today 'ceptin' them skeeters,” Beau laughed.

          Weren't long before we heard some rustlin' about in the leaves. Beau whispered it must be a bear sneakin' up, but it weren't really nothin' but some old birds searchin' for somethin' to eat.  Just as I was about to fall asleep myself and cause the buzzard party, Beau heard a “plink” in the water.  A squirrel had dropped some of its pinecone dinner into the water.  Then we saw a snake swim over to investigate before catchin' some small frogs instead.

            'Bout the time we was learnin' somethin' 'bout the swamp we realized things got mighty quiet.  I think it sorta crept up on us.  First the wind started to blow, and it felt so cool and refreshin' after all that hot sun that we didn't pay it no mind a'tall.  Then everythin' got real still, and the birds stopped their singin'. It sure was quiet.  Kinda spooky and in these parts of the swamp things can get real spooky, if'n one set his mind to it.  Beau looked at me and I looked at him and then, “BOOM”, that first bit oflightnin' struck.  Beau's feet never touched the ground as he knocked me down while I was fixin' to run for home.  Then the rain came poundin' down hard on us.  So hard we couldn't see straight. I ran one way and Beau ran the other, chasin' each other round and round cause we couldn't see nothin'.  Everythin' looked the same. Weren't long before we ran smack dab back into “old struck”.  Sure, felt good to find somethin' familiar even if it was “old struck”.  Beau said we oughta stay there a while till the rain let up some, but I weren't too happy 'bout stayin' under this tree 'cause that lightnin' and thunder was strikin' faster'n a cornered rattlesnake.  I just knew today would be the day that “old struck” got struck again.  But Beau just crossed his arms and sat down right at the foot of that tree and said he weren't gonna budge till it was over.  I reckon we stayed there all night, the rain never lettin' up enough for us to see ten feet.  We was shiverin' so hard we almost lost our you-know-whats.

          The next mornin' we began to shoutin' and hollerin' but no one ever heard us.   We were too wet and cold to really care, anyway.   And that rain was still poundin' and the lightnin' still flashin' like old Noah was gonna show up with his boat any minute. I said I bet old Noah was glad it was rainin' so he could wash them animals.  Beau said he didn't know how Mrs. Noah could stand being on that boat with them stinkin' animals roamin' about.  He said he bet she was runnin' round like a chicken with its head cut off, what with cleanin' up after all 'em.  “If'n I was Mrs. Noah,” he said, “I wouldn't a put up with all that mess.  I’d a made him make two boats, one for the family and one for all them critters with a long rope connectin' them two and if Mr. Noah wanted to have a hissy-fit he could join the other boat.” 

          “Beau,” I shouted, “we gonna drown down here under “old struck.  This rain's a real frogwash.  The gators gonna have their own party bout us goin' away.  I ain't ready to die.”  Bout that time, before Beau could answer his sassy self, “BOOM!” That lightnin' hit so close that the whole swamp shook.  We took off like hound dog s chasin’ coons.  That next bolt hit “old struck” so hard that it split in two, right where Beau had been sittin'.  Then a fire started up.  “We better head for the barn, Beau,” I shouted, “we better start runnin'.   Beau!”  Beau didn't move.  I shouted more.  Still no movin'.  Beau had been hit by a limb and was bleedin' and I was too scared to have noticed.  His leg sure looked funny.  By now, that fire was creepin' up on us faster-n a hot knife through butter. I had to throw Beau over my shoulders, midst all his hollerin' and groanin', to not burn.  Possums and coons and deer were runnin' all around us trying to escape the fire.  “My leg, my leg!” Beau shouted.  “I can't move.”   I said, “Beau, we're in a heap of trouble if'n we don't high tail it.” 

          The fire was all around us, ceptin' a spot out in the water so I jerked Beau up again and headed out.  Water was up to our chests and gators and snakes were all around us, but they didn't never mind, 'cause they was escapin' that fire too.  So, there we sat with the fire and gators and snakes sayin' their howdy-do as they passed on by.  We were still in that water when the fire stopped and climbed on the land again and that’s where we was sittin’ when our paws found us.  Said we had been gone for two days and that fire finally hushed itself up over by the landin'.  Beau's leg was mighty swollen now, and his Paw said he reckon it were broken so we made a splint with that charred wood and hauled us out'a that swamp.  Paw said he reckoned “old struck” had finally bit the dust.

          Our maws started cryin' and huggin' and kissin' us when we got to the clearin' but when Beau's maw took one look at his overalls, she said she was gonna jerk a knot in his tail for messin' up them brand-new store-bought britches.  Said she weren't gonna fix 'em anymore and he'd just have-ta be buried in ‘em. 

          Beau didn't get us into any more trouble after that what with his broke leg and such that we just lazed around the house helpin' our paws skin the animals they trapped. Winter was comin' soon, and our paws had killed enough beaver, deer, coon, and nutria pelts to get through the winter.  Yes sir, we was simply good ole' boys livin' down in the swamp.

          My family moved not long after that so that my sisters could have a right schoolin'.  I didn't see much of Beau after that, but I do know that Beau had been savin' some pelts he had trapped and when he had gotten enough went to Mr. Higgins' store and sold them.  He had enough to buy his mama a new dress for her birthday since she had put up with enough of his shenanigans to last a lifetime. 

Bless his heart.

© Nippy Blair 2015. Posts and pictures on this blog cannot be copied, downloaded, printed, or used without the permission of the blog owner, Nippy Blair.

BEAU

chapter 4

Ghost Stories

         

Yep, Beau and I had to sleep outside for three days.  It weren't much fun 'cause of all the baths we had to take, but that's what we had to do after meetin' ole' mama skunk.  We had to sleep outside with nothin' but our underwear.  Beau said we would freeze off our “you-know-what’s”, but his mama said, “I don't give a diddly-squat.”   She weren't givin' no more clothes or blankets to be torn up or stunk up.

Soon as he could, Beau got rid of his underwear.  Said he weren't gonna let any stinkin' underwear let him keep from sleepin'.  My sisters said he sure looked dumb in his ole' birthday suit.  They laughed and said God musta taken Beau out of the oven too soon 'cause he looked half baked.  Said his skinny ole' tan legs and arms sure looked strange next to that bony ole' white body.  Beau said that didn't bother him none and he just climbed out on a limb and hung upside down scratchin' his chest for fleas.  Faster than a rabbit chased by hounds, Beau's mama found him some more underwear.  “I don't care if'n there ain't neighbors around,” she said, “but my boy ain't gonna run around buck naked like a wild animal.”

          Beau's mama made us take two baths every day. I thought the water felt good, but Beau said only girls or sissies took more than one bath a week.  Said his brother, Leon, sometimes went 3 weeks without one.  Maybe that's why my sisters didn't like him.  Beau's mama said that when Leon got home from trappin' she was gonna make him take one too.  Beau said he didn't want to be buck naked in no tub with Leon 'cause he was a pervert, whatever that means.  “I'm gonna wash your mouth out with lye soap Beau Bordeleon,” said his maw, “unless you quit all that nasty talk.”  Beau thought it was bad enough havin' to use that lye soap on his body and he weren't about to put none in his mouth, so he just shut up.  After Beau's mama left, he said he didn't know which stunk most, having to take two baths a day or that ole' stinkin' mama.  I sure hope he was talkin' 'bout that black and white critter what got us in this mess and not his own mama.

          I said we could pretend we were in the jungle and cannibals were gonna make a good soup out of us, but Beau said he didn't want to play.  Said his mama was gonna be sad she made him take so many baths.  Said that water was too hot, and it was gonna make his skin crinkle up and fall right off his bones to the bottom of the wash tub.  “Maw sure is gonna feel sorry for having a skeleton in the family,” he said.  I said his mama would probably hang him in the smokehouse and have lots of bones to make soup with.  Beau poked me in the stomach and made me spit up all over him.  So, he spit back, and I got mad, and we started to fight.  Them girls began screamin' for our mama and said they wished we'd never been hatched 'cause we'd been nothin' but misery all our born days.  Betsy said, as they ran to the house, “I wish that ole' water would boil your hides so we could stretch it out to dry and sell it with the other animal skins.” 

          We started rollin' and jumpin' all over the yard buck naked with mud and stuff all over us.  We fought so much that Beau knocked the wash tub over and spilled lots of water.  It hit me in the head makin' me see stars. Beau's mama boiled some more water and made us take another bath with lye soap while she stood near with a switch in her hand.  She said Beau was lower than a snake in a wagon rut. 

          At night Beau and I slept in the tree house and told ghost stories.  But mostly Beau.  Said he had one that would scare my dumb ole' sisters.  “Them sissy girls will have gray hair before they're old enough to marry,” said Beau. “Won't nobody want them when they see how old and ugly, they become.  Not even brother Leon,” he laughed.  Said he couldn't wait to tell them his story since they made fun of his birthday suit.  Beau stood up and began to act like a wild animal swingin' his arms about as he told about the Tiger-Sniger.  Said the Tiger-Sniger was striped like a tiger and was purple and white.  It stood 10 feet tall and had eyes and tails all over its body. It would stalk the swamp lookin' for children to eat. I smiled and pretended I weren't scared 'cause I couldn't let Beau know. Beau's story made me shiver so much I thought my underwear would drop off and my you-know-what would too.  Beau said if'n I didn't stop that shiverin', I was gonna knock the tree house down and the Tiger-Sniger might get me.   I shook harder as I moved to the middle of the tree house, holdin' tight to my underwear.  I said I was just cold and missin' my blanket.  Said I was movin' to the middle to get warmer.  Beau laughed so hard, he fell on his bottom, sayin' I was just scared 'cause the tree house was only 8 feet off the ground and the Tiger-Sniger was 10 feet tall. I hit Beau so hard he fell, and we started fightin' again.   I told him, any ole' bear could sneak up on that ole Tiger-Sniger and make Tiger-Sniger stew if'n he wanted to.”  Beau said nothin' could sneak up on the Tiger-Sniger.  “Beau, you're crazy,” I said, “'cause somethin' could sneak up on it when it was sleepin'.”  Beau said it never completely slept and kept one eye open. When it found something near it, it would take one of its twelve tails that were attached under the twelve eyes, even on its head and wrap it around the critter like a snake.  Beau said it would squeeze the critter until it went limp, then eat it.  Beau then proceeded to jump on me and started squeezin' me around my middle with his legs.  I said I had to go to the bathroom.  Beau laughed louder sayin' he scared the pee out of me and was gonna tell, but I let him know I was just waitin' for a good time to go 'cause I didn't want to upset his story.  Beau kept makin' fun of me being sissy and then he curled up in the middle of the tree house using his underwear for a pillow and went to sleep.   I couldn't sleep 'cause I was wonderin' which one of those eyes that ole' Tiger-Sniger had lookin' at me or if'n he wanted two ole' stinkin' boys for his supper.  After sittin' awhile, and shakin', Beau suddenly stood up and started walkin' about with his arms flailin' everywhere.  “Beau,” I shouted, But Beau kept going in a circle and bumpin' into everythin'.  Beau was either asleep or that mean ole' Sniger had done flung a spell on him.  Beau sure looked funny with his arms flailin' about walkin' in circles with nothin' on but his birthday suit.  But I weren't gonna wake him.  No sir'ree.  Not me boy! My maw had told me that if'n I ever saw someone walkin' in their sleep that I'd better not ever try waking them 'cause they might be dangerous.  She said they usually had a spell cast on them for being so bad and could even kill a person if disturbed.  Maw said no one was supposed to wake up somebody like this or they might be crazy in their minds the rest of their born days and would have to be locked up for protection.    Lands, I didn’t know what to do.  I couldn't stay in the tree house 'cause Beau was all over it and I might be killed, and I couldn't go leavin' it 'cause that ole' Tiger-Sniger might be waitin' for me to climb down, and I might be killed.  I knew one thing for sure, I weren't 'bout to wake Beau up 'cause I didn't want him to be crazier than he already was.  So, I just kept walkin' about the tree house keepin' out of Beau's way the rest of the night.  I was so dizzy walkin' in circles that I was about to pass out when Beau headed for a limb and climbed on it, stretchin' out like an ole' mama couger with his legs and arms danglin' down and started to snore.  I stayed up all night waitin' and watchin' but that Tiger-Sniger never came, and Beau kept on sleepin'.  

© Nippy Blair 2015. Posts and pictures on this blog cannot be copied, downloaded, printed, or used without the permission of the blog owner, Nippy Blair.

BEAU

CHAPTER 3

AND SMELLIN' STILL

   We were clearin’ the boards, laughin’ ‘bout how funny we must have looked falling down on them sheep, when Beau noticed a tunnel runnin’ up under the side of the sheep shed.   After pokin’ a stick, a couple of times, Beau decided one of the dogs or cats musta made it to get cool and it needed investigatin’.  Beau just seemed to fear nothin’ and started climbin’ in that tunnel.  Got halfway in before he got stuck.  Said I should pull some of the boards off him so he could get out, but I just thought this was another plan of Beau's to make me do all the work.  So, I just pushed him up further making him look like my maw had planted her flower garden there in the shed ‘cause all that was left of Beau was his overalls.  Beau started shoutin’ at me that he could hear somethin’ in front of him and I better get him out, quick, but I couldn't.  No matter how hard I pulled, Beau stayed stuck.  Beau shouted that I should get my sisters to help me pull.  My sisters said he could rot up in those ole' boards for all they cared and besides, it served him right.  Anyway, they were fixin’ supper and tryin’ on some of maws toilet water while she was gone to help Beau's maw help set up the quiltin’ frame over at Beau's house.

          Near supper my sisters came out smellin’ like they fell in that ole' bottle of toilet water.  But it weren’t just them!  That stinkin’ was comin’ from Beau!  “I told you he would rot,” they shouted.  The girls just screamed and left sayin’ I could pull that ole' stinky boy out myself or just leave him there.  I tugged at Beau's feet and shouted that he should push from his end to help me, but he didn't hear me ‘cause he had passed out.  I finally got him out of that tunnel and thought he had died and gone to heaven again. When our paws came home, my Paw said he had forgotten to tell us he had seen an ole'mama skunk among them boards and that we should be careful not to rile her.  “Just put them boards back over the hole,” they laughed, standin’ their distance.

          Before I could, that ole' mama skunk and all her young-uns came prancin out flingin’ their tails even higher at all of us.  I never seen so much runnin’ and shoutin’ in all my born days.  Sisters were screamin’ about supper being ruined while they ran about in total confusion.  Paws, sisters, dogs, cats, sheep, skunks and me were runnin’ in every direction while Beau just lay there passed out deader’n a doorknob.  Every time I got near anyone they would shout and run faster screamin’ at me to stay away.  As I ran around the corner of the shed, I looked back to see if Beau was movin’ but he just kept lyin’ there.  The baby skunks decided they must have liked ole Beau ‘cause they marched right up to him and proceeded to climb on his back and play among the flowers while their ole' mama kept her guard.  Darin' us to mess with her young-uns or their new flower garden.  That's when I discovered that ole' mama and her young-uns weren't the only skunks stinkin’.  I was stinkin’ too.  Paw said it was my God given duty to run them skunks away from my best friend since I was smellin’ just as ripe as them skunks and Beau.  Before I could get me a stick to chase ‘em, Beau woke up a screamin’ and flingin’ skunks in every direction.  This didn't set too well with that ole' mama skunk and she proceeded to fling more of that perfume of hers at us again.

          We did some burnin’ that afternoon all right.  Not only did we burn them boards, but we had to burn every stitch of clothes we had on and had to spend the next few days and nights camped outside in our underwear and taking baths with lye soap ‘til we quit smellin' so ripe and our maws had time to make us some new overalls.  Beau's maw made his out of her ole' stripped black and white dress which made Beau happy 'cause he was gonna look like one of them convicts or that ole' skunk critter.  My sisters said his maw was just gettin' him used to what he would have to wear some day in the jail house over in Marksville.

          Poor Beau's mama didn't get the material for her dresses she wanted 'cause she had to spend the money on material for new overalls for Beau.  Said she was gonna make him a dozen different pair.  Said she wasn't gonna let him run around all day lookin' like that ole' mama skunk in his black and white stripped overalls.

© Nippy Blair 2015. Posts and pictures on this blog cannot be copied, downloaded, printed, or used without the permission of the blog owner, Nippy Blair.